Still in Love With You Read online

  He rubbed his forehead. “I feel really dizzy right now.”

  “Lie down.” Aubree helped him to lie back on the cold tile floors in her foyer. She held a hand over his chest as his breaths came in short gasps. “You’re okay. Take a few deep breaths.”

  He kept his eyes closed as he lay there. Riley used to have panic attacks when she was younger and Parker was showing all the signs. Aubree pressed her hand over his heart and felt its fast rhythm.

  His voice was barely audible when he spoke again. “He was just a kid. Part of war is protecting civilians from casualties. He was a threat to us. He didn’t even try stopping his little sister. She said the refugee camp had some bad guys. She saw them pay her brother. Heard them plan to put the explosives in the balls. Said we wouldn’t know any different. She tried to stop it. The kid was more of a hero that me.”

  He licked his dry lips. “And I went after him. The little girl said that there was another ball in his backpack and he’d intended it for somewhere else. When he stopped in the distance he pulled it out.” His voice broke. “He was just a kid, but there was nothing else I could do. I had to protect those people.”

  He covered his face with his hands while Aubree sat beside him, not knowing how to respond. All the stuff he’d told her came full circle. He wanted her to be proud, but he didn’t think he did anything to make her proud. He wanted to do something great, but he failed at that too in his own mind. She wondered how his father reacted. For Parker to trust him enough to tell him and then he had a negative reaction about it was horrible.

  But she wasn’t much better. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to comfort him. He was such a good-hearted person and everything about the situation sucked. So she sat there with him. Her heart ached for what he went through. The burden he carried wasn’t something he needed to carry on his own, but he’d carried it around for so long.

  “Maybe my dad getting cancer is my karma.”

  “No,” she said almost immediately. “Don’t say that.”

  “I was told I did the right thing. I protected the other refugees from unknown plans of the boy. I protected the little girl. It sure feels shitty though to do the right thing. It doesn’t feel like the right thing at all.”

  He sat up and pressed his palms into his eyes. He didn’t cry though she heard the sorrow in his voice.

  “Is it okay if I hug you?”

  Parker nodded, still not looking at her. Aubree wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close to her. She combed her fingers through his hair and kissed his temple. She couldn’t do anything about what happened, but she could love him and help him get through it.

  “You’ve got me?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She tightened her hold.

  “Don’t let go.”

  “Never.” And she meant it.

  Chapter Fifteen

  When Parker woke, the sun shined in his eyes. He pushed up from the soft sheets surrounding him and squinted. His eyes hurt from all the crap last night created and his chest ached all the same.

  “How do you feel?” Aubree asked, leaning against the door jamb with a mug in her hand. She’d showered and pulled on a large shirt and a pair of short denim shorts.

  “Like shit.” He fell back in the bed and pulled the comforter over his head.

  “Here.”

  He pushed the blankets down and watched as she set the mug on the nightstand. Aubree had been there for him last night. She held him all night. He didn’t sob like a blubbering idiot, but he did cry. That was a bruise to his ego. He watched her simply stand strong when he needed her to.

  “Daddy’s already gone to the hospital. I told him you needed to sleep, so I didn’t bother waking you up. He’s coming back around three to get us.”

  Yeah, because his father didn’t want to see him. Parker scrubbed a hand over his face. His father didn’t want him to stay with him. He wanted his stupid wife.

  “What time is it?”

  “Noon.” She sat on the edge of the bed. “You slept five hours straight.”

  And he didn’t have a nightmare. Maybe talking to her did help. It’d been the first night he actually rested in a long time.

  “Can we talk about last night?”

  He glanced over at her. “What about it?”

  “I didn’t intentionally keep your father’s cancer from you. I only found out because my dad needed money.”

  He sipped the hot liquid inside the mug. “How much did you have to give him?”

  She told him.

  He shook his head. “And your father just put up the ranch like that?”

  “Yes. He didn’t tell my mom. They didn’t tell anyone for a while. I don’t know how Julie found out.”

  “She drove him to his treatments.” He set the mug aside and sank deeper into the soft sheets. “Your bed is way better than mine.”

  Aubree crawled in beside him. “Will you at least tell me if you’re okay? If we’re okay?”

  He glanced over at her. “I’m a fucked up mess, but we’re okay.”

  She propped herself up on her elbows. “Do you feel better or worse now that you’ve told me?”

  He contemplated it. The pain was still there, but he could breathe easier. She didn’t give him the same horrified look his father had. She simply wrapped her arms around him and held him, which was exactly what he needed. Wanted. Maybe his father was right about their connection. Aubree always knew how to comfort him without doing anything. It helped even more that for the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel alone.

  “I’m better.” He tried to smile to reassure her. “You always make me feel better.”

  She leaned over to kiss his scruffy cheek. “I’m glad.”

  He studied her for a moment. “Is there anything else you’re keeping from me?”

  Her leg draped over his as she stared up at the ceiling. “Yes, but I’m not going to tell you what it is.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s a surprise.” She glanced over at him. “You’ll like it. Your birthday is coming up.”

  “Did you buy me something expensive? Like a houseful of crap to make it look pretty?”

  “Yes and no.” She rubbed his stomach. “You trust me right? Just trust me on this. You’re going to like it.”

  “Anything else?” He waited. “Mainly about something that is going to piss me off?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  Parker wasn’t really mad at her. His father—that was a different story. “For the record, I’m his only son. I should have been told.”

  Aubree propped her head up on her arm. “Your father didn’t want to add more to your troubles.”

  “He’s not a problem to me.”

  “No. He’s a stubborn old man that is a milder version of his son.” Aubree arched an eyebrow and Parker rolled his eyes. “He loves you, Parker. Nothing will ever change that. Believe it or not, you are a pretty lovable guy.”

  He didn’t know about that. Shifting the covers, he moved so he faced her. Her legs still dangled over his and he liked the intimacy of it. He liked how she always wanted to be close to him no matter what they did.

  “If you can only have one person to stay the night with you at the hospital, who do you choose?”

  She brushed his arm with her fingers. “Depends. What am I there for?”

  “I don’t know. Does it matter?”

  “Yes.”

  “Cancer?” He glanced toward her. “Who do you pick for that?”

  “You.” She pushed up from the bed beside him. “Julie is his wife, Parker. It’s natural to want to be with your significant other.”

  He shook his head. “No. It’s not natural. We’ve been through everything together and he just shut me out with this. I’d want my dad there. I thought he’d want me there too. He basically kicked me out right after the doctor asked him about his cancer.”

  “You feel rejected. I get that. I wish I could change it. Maybe you can sit down at h
ome and talk about it with him?”

  Aubree pushed him back before she crawled over him, straddling his lap while she cupped his face so he had to look at her. He didn’t want to cry in front of her again. Instead of saying anymore, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him close.

  “I love you,” he whispered. “Please tell me we can really make this work. Please tell me that you and I are going to build a life together. I don’t think I can do this without you anymore.”

  He’d needed her last night. He’d needed her and she was there. It said so much more than words ever could. He wanted to bury himself in her and forget the rest of the world for a while. Or maybe he could just hold her. Breathe her in and feel her heartbeat next to his. Her life in Dallas was so much more than what he could offer her in Prospect. When he first got to her penthouse, he was afraid to touch anything. There was no way he could afford the kind of stuff she had.

  “You’ve got me.” She hugged him back, squeezing tighter.

  He lifted his head. “I don’t have you though. Not like I want you.”

  She pulled back, frowning. “How do you want me?”

  “Naked and writhing in my bed?”

  She laughed and kissing him before moving off his lap. “I’ve been there a time or two.”

  He knew she loved him. Aubree always showed it more than she said it. Dabbling in emotions wasn’t her thing. She made everyone around her feel her love without saying one word. But at the same time, he needed to hear the words. He longed for it.

  “No chance of that now?”

  “No.” She propped her hand on her hip. “Get up and shower. I had your clothes washed while you slept. They’re clean and laying on the bathroom counter.”

  “You had my clothes washed? What does that even mean?”

  “I have a maid’s service that does laundry for me.” She glanced to the side. “I told you I’m horrible at cleaning.”

  He tossed the blanket back. “You’re too fancy.”

  “Momma says I’m lazy.”

  “That works too.” He walked naked to her bathroom. “This bathroom is the size of my house.”

  She stood in the doorway watching him. “Yeah. I was a little claustrophobic in your bathroom. That’s on my list of projects for your house.”

  He reached inside the shower and turned the faucet on. Her penthouse put his little shack to shame. He didn’t even know why she would ever want to live with him in Prospect.

  “I’m probably jumping the gun a little bit, but I cleaned out the spare bedroom’s closet for your things.”

  “My things?”

  “Yeah. I mean, I know you’re not a fan of Dallas and it’s going to be rare when you actually visit, but I want some of your stuff here. If not for your sake but my own.”

  He glanced toward the closet. “And you’re putting me in the spare bedroom?”

  She laughed. “Sorry. My closet is full. I doubt you could fit one of your flip flops in there. I need to clean it out.”

  He opened the door and stepped inside the shower. “Clean it out and then we’ll talk.”

  She moved into the bathroom, watching him. “Oh, it’ll take a year to clean that sucker out. I’m leaving stuff at your place for when I stay. That will probably take up your spare room’s closet too.”

  He scrubbed his hair. “Why do you need so much crap when I plan on keeping you naked most of the time?”

  She folded her arms over her chest. “It’s an insecurity. I like to look good for you.”

  “Ah, baby. You look great naked. You don’t need all that crap to dress up for me.” He grabbed her body wash and scrubbed his skin. “I have to admit though, I like the short shorts. Your legs look great in them.”

  “I’ll make sure I don’t get rid of them then.”

  He turned the water off and reached for a towel. “And the lacy panties.”

  “Anything else?”

  He wrapped the towel around his waist. “The rompers give me easy access to your boobs.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “And to think I used to be flat chested.”

  He propped his hands on either side of her, leaning in. “I liked your little boobs too.”

  “No you didn’t.”

  “Yes, I did.” He bit the neckline of her shirt, pulling it away from her body before he lapped at the swell of her breast. “You were no nonsense about sex back then though. I think you were uncomfortable being naked in front of me.”

  “I was,” she admitted. “I looked like a boy.”

  “But you most definitely didn’t have boy parts.” He gave her a devilish grin. “I like you just the way you are. Always have.”

  She was shy around him when they were younger. He wanted to flirt and tease her, and she wanted to cut out foreplay to get to the action. Thankfully, Aubree let him tease her now. He still sensed some resistance but for the most part, she felt comfortable in front of him without clothes.

  “I had to get you liquored up in the backseat of my car before you’d let my mouth anywhere near your nipples.”

  A faint tint flooded her cheeks. “You took a picture too, apparently. My wanted poster.”

  “Can I have an updated picture of you topless?”

  “For a new wanted poster?”

  He grinned. “No. For lonely nights when you’re not home.”

  She shook her head. “You’re horrible.”

  “No.” He cupped her face. “I love you.”

  She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him tighter. He loved how she held him to her as if she were protecting him from the world. It made him feel loved.

  “You’re not taking naked photos of me.” She kissed his cheek.

  “I had to make the request.”

  “Of course you did.” She smiled and kissed him. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”

  ****

  After Tom was released, Aubree watched Parker stepped up to take care of him. They went back to Prospect and Parker spent the next two days juggling the town’s problems and his father. She smiled every time they argued. They were basically twins.

  “He’s a pain in the ass.” Parker set his father’s plate on the kitchen island in his father’s house.

  “You two are exactly the same.” Aubree moved away from the counter.

  “So you’re saying I’m a pain in the ass?”

  “Exactly.” She gripped his shirt and pulled him to her for a kiss. “I’m going home. Watch a movie with him.”

  “He doesn’t want me around, Aubree.”

  “That’s not true.” She sighed. “He doesn’t want you to pity him. He doesn’t want you to take care of him. He doesn’t want you to fix him. Sound familiar?”

  He folded his arms over his chest. “Your point is clear.”

  “Watch a movie with him.”

  “You’re leaving in the morning, aren’t you?”

  After they got back to Prospect, her father’s ranch hands found her keys, her phone, and her boot. Thankfully, everything still worked after some cleaning. She had to be at work on Monday, and the three hour drive to Dallas would mean she needed to leave early in the morning to get there at a decent hour.

  “I am.” She clutched his shirt. “And we’re going to be okay until we figure it all out. I promise we will.”

  “I’ve got it marked on the calendar in the office. I’m taking my birthday off and we’re going to spend the weekend in Dallas.”

  “And you’re going to have a great birthday. I’ve already been planning it.”

  He pressed his forehead against hers. “Doesn’t help the fact that I don’t want you to go.”

  “I know. It’ll be okay. You can call me anytime. If I don’t answer, I’m in a meeting, but I’ll call you back when I can.”

  The nightmares had been non-existent since they got back home. He slept more peacefully, and he seemed not to dwell so much on the past. He didn’t talk about it with her anymore, not that she expected him to. Aubree thought the one conversation
was enough to calm his nerves, but he still needed to work through the situation.

  “I love you.” He kissed her before he moved away.

  She let herself out while Parker searched through his father’s movies. His birthday was in two weeks and she had enough to do. After she got home, she called her mechanic to check on the car. It was especially difficult to track down some of the parts, but they found them. She’d get to test drive it in the morning. She had it painted a charcoal gray color that had been its original paint. She thought Parker would like it.

  After fixing herself something to eat, she settled in front of the television. It wasn’t long before Parker came home. Frustration filled his face and she knew that being a caregiver to his father wasn’t going according to plan.

  “He kicked me out. Said he wasn’t dead yet and wanted to make love with his wife.”

  Aubree chuckled. “Come here.”

  Parker went to her and she kissed his lips. She knew his father’s stubbornness bothered him, but the two of them would work out something. He laid his head in her lap and stared up at her with his legs dangling off the side of the couch.

  “I thought you’d be sleeping.”

  “Yeah, well, I got distracted by the TV.” She smoothed her hand down his chest. “I also got used to you next to me.”

  Sleeping with someone always took some getting used to. She didn’t adapt naturally to people being in her space. With Parker though, she didn’t seem to give it a second thought. He slept on his side of the bed and she’d gotten used to it fairly quickly.

  “Is that right?” He reached for the remote and clicked the TV off. Before she could move, he scooped her into his arms.

  She squealed and laughed as he carried her to the bedroom. He sat her down on his side of the bed and leaned over her, pushing her legs apart to make room for his body.

  “I said next to me, not on top of me.”

  “Semantics.” He lifted her shirt and undid her bra. Her shorts and panties went next.

  He took a moment to savor the sight. Her breasts were full, her nipples tight and begging for his attention. She’d complained about gaining weight, but her soft curves were anything but fat. When she’d been in high school, her body had been straight and flat. She had small boobs and no hips. Now, she filled out nicely.