Still in Love With You Read online

  He blew out a breath. “Yeah. I was wondering when that would come up.”

  “Are you okay now?”

  “Define okay.”

  When she didn’t say anything, he looked up. Aubree stared at him with caring eyes. He couldn’t treat her like he had everyone else. He pushed people away because they didn’t understand. After hours and hours of therapy, his psychiatrist finally gave him meds to cope, but even that only made it worse.

  “I live one day at a time. Some days are good. Some days are bad.”

  “He said you pulled a gun on him. That you have nightmares and you rarely sleep.”

  Colton had a big mouth. “Yeah.”

  That time in his life was not easy to forget. He didn’t struggle as much during the day, but the nightmares never went away. It’d been the reason he hadn’t let Sophie in. She didn’t understand and he couldn’t make her.

  She drank from her glass. “You’re tense. I told you the cure for that.”

  “An orgasm?”

  “Well, yeah. Cures just about everything that ails you.”

  “You offering or are you suggesting I go at it alone?”

  She crunched on an ice cube, watching him. “I’m pretty tense too.”

  “You look pretty tense.” He set his plate aside and pulled her to him. His hands smoothed down her back as he leaned in to kiss her. He slipped his hands beneath her shirt and touched her skin. Everything about her was so soft. He didn’t want to stop touching her.

  Aubree’s fingers threaded through his hair as he lifted her into his arms. He loved the way she kissed him. Loved how she took her time, nibbling his lower lip before sucking lightly on his tongue. He ached for her. He always had.

  Carrying her to his room, he lowered her to the mattress and pulled back. He had yet to change from his uniform and getting the damn thing off in a timely manner was pesky business.

  “Let me.” Aubree sat up and tugged his shirt from his pants.

  He undid the top buttons while she undid the bottom. Pushing the shirt open, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his stomach. He quivered. She nibbled and licked, smiling up at him like she had a secret. Her hands went to the fly of his pants and he watched as she undid the button and lowered the zipper. He helped her shove his pants down his hips and off his legs, coming back to her naked and wanting. She smiled at him as he dipped his head to kiss her.

  “Now it’s your turn.” He moved over her, kissing and nibbling along her neck. Soft little sighs left her lips, a sound that went straight to his cock. He shoved the shirt up and leaned down to kiss her flat belly.

  “I’ve missed this.” He lapped at the dip of her navel. “I’ve missed you.” He hooked his fingers in her shorts and pulled them off her body. Her panties went next. Kissing the inside of her knee, he gently pushed her legs apart.

  “Wait.” Aubree sat up. She lifted the shirt over her head and tossed it somewhere to the side. Her bra went next until she lay before him naked and perfect. “Okay. Continue.”

  He pushed her legs apart and moved between them. When he pulled her nipple into his mouth, she gasped, clutching the back of his head to her as she let out a soft little moan. Dragging hot, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of her breast, he left no part of her not tasted. Moving over her, he kissed his way down her body until he’d reached the apex of her thighs.

  She lifted her hips slightly, her impatience amusing. He bent to lick her, one single swipe of his tongue through her center. Her flavor exploded on his tongue along with memories of the past he couldn’t forget. He plied her with his tongue, working her slick flesh with his mouth until she trembled. Her slender thighs tightened around his head as her back arched off the bed. She jerked and gasped, clutching the sheets beneath her. He kept his ministrations going until she sagged against the bed, breaths coming in shallow pants.

  Nipping her thigh, he looked at her. “Still tense?”

  She chuckled, eyes closed. He kissed a path up her body before grazing her lips with his own. Then, he reached for the drawer on the bedside table and stuck his hand inside, fishing around for protection. When he found the rubber, he tore it open and rolled it on.

  “I need to be inside you.”

  “Then get inside me.”

  Parker hissed when she reached for him. He batted her hands away before he pushed into the slick depths of her body. It’d been too long and it was so good. Everything about her tested his control. He sucked in a shaky breath as he withdrew from her, desperately needing to fill her almost immediately. He couldn’t look away from her. The hot flush of color that rushed to her cheeks, the way she bit her lip as he sank into her over and over, he saw the passion in her eyes by the way she looked up at him. Then her internal muscles clenched around him and his control snapped. He pushed up over her, gripping her calves as he thrust hard into her welcoming body.

  Aubree gasped, her fingers digging into this thighs as he took her, claimed her, made her his. The angle of his thrusts allowed him to go deeper, to fill her more completely. Sweat beaded along his brow as he watched her. Her eyes slammed shut as her back bowed off the bed. She cried out as her face filled with pleasure, her body clutching him tightly within her. He dropped her legs and pushed them wide so he could kiss her.

  Her climax triggered his own. He plunged deeper and faster as tension coiled through his body, bursting hot as a flame in mind-numbing pulses of ecstasy. He buried his face in her neck as a groan he couldn’t contain slipped from his mouth. Her hot breath fanned his clammy skin as she scraped her nails along his back.

  Sex had never been so good than when he was with her.

  He rolled to his back beside her and stared at the ceiling. The air conditioner kicked on outside his window and it shattered the silence surrounding them. The peeling wallpaper flapped as the cool breeze blew into the room. Aubree sat up and Parker reached for her.

  “I’ll be right back.” She pulled on the shirt he’d given her and left the room.

  The longer he laid there, the more relaxed he felt. Aubree did seem to have a point about the orgasm cure. He was half asleep when she returned. She smiled at him and stroked his stomach.

  “You want me to go?”

  “No.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “Do you need to go?”

  “No.” She pressed her lips against his in a smile. “It’s only seven-thirty.”

  He closed his eyes and yawned. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually wanted to go to sleep. “Stay the night with me.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” He cupped the back of her head and kissed her. “Please stay with me.”

  She pushed away from him and kissed his temple. “Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  Chapter Eight

  Aubree decided to watch television since seven-thirty was too early for her to sleep. Parker lay sprawled out beside her, naked and unabashed. She knew he had trouble sleeping at night, and if he could finally find some comfort that enabled him to get a good night’s rest, she wasn’t about to wake him up. She watched several episodes of her favorite TV show before it finally grew dark. She needed to get up and put the food away, make sure the place was locked up and the lights were turned off.

  Moving to the edge of the bed, she stood and walked around, careful not to wake him. She went to the kitchen first and put the food in the plastic containers she’d bought on a whim. She didn’t plan to go shopping for Parker’s house, but once she got inside the store, she couldn’t help herself.

  She cleaned up the mess and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. She didn’t have anything at his house. She was sure to be a hot mess in the morning without her toiletries, but hopefully, she wouldn’t scare him off. Going into the living room, she locked the front door and turned off the light.

  The house was completely dark as she felt her way back to the bedroom. Parker lay where she left him, completely content. She crawled in bed beside him and focused on
her TV show. She wasn’t sleepy, but she’d had a long day. Her arms hurt from painting, and she didn’t even want to think about Parker’s idiotic friends “entertaining” her all day.

  She closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep.

  The next time she woke, Parker was up, pacing the floor beside his bed.

  “Hey. What’s wrong?”

  “I just … I can’t…”

  Aubree threw the blankets back and went to him. “It’s okay. Sit here. Do you need some water?”

  He shook his head and grabbed her, wrapping his arms around her.

  She hugged him back. “I’ve got you. It’s okay.”

  He squeezed her, pressing his face into her neck. They stood like that for a while.

  Her heart thudded the longer he didn’t say anything, and she didn’t know if trying to pull answers out of him was the best idea.

  When he finally let her go, he rubbed a hand over his face and sat on the edge of the bed. “Sorry.”

  Aubree leaned forward to kiss him, smoothing her hand along his scruffy cheek. “Don’t be. You want to talk about it?”

  He sat quietly, staring down at his toes before he finally looked at her. “No. Not really.”

  “Okay.” She smoothed her hand along his sweaty back. “Do you want something to drink?”

  He closed his eyes. “How long have I been asleep?”

  “Four hours maybe?” She sat beside him. “Is that normal?”

  “No.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I usually only get an hour. Two if I’m lucky.”

  “You can’t live like that.” Aubree wrapped her arms around him, pulling him toward her. “Have you talked to someone?”

  “Yeah.”

  And it hadn’t helped? She kissed his forehead. “Maybe you should talk to someone regularly. Is there anyone you trust? Your dad or maybe Colton?”

  He pushed away from her. “They don’t understand. I told my dad and he had this horrific look on his face. I gave up.”

  She reached for his hand and brought it to her lap. “I think you should try again. Maybe with my dad? Or the pastor at the church. Both served in the army. Both went to war.”

  She cupped the side of his face and leaned in to kiss him. “You can always talk to me. I may not understand everything, but I am a good listener. I’ll help you any way I can.”

  “You being here helps.” He closed his eyes. “I wasn’t sure about it. Colton made a comment about you being the only person I open up to. I guess he was right ‘cause I don’t want you to go.”

  He met her gaze and she rubbed her thumb along his lower lip. “I’m right here.”

  “Yeah?” He stood. “For how long? Four more days?” His agitation grew the longer he stood there with his back to her. He clenched and unclenched his fists.

  She watched him, willing him to open up to her. “I go back to Dallas in four days. That doesn’t mean that we’ll never see each other again.”

  “But doesn’t it? It took you ten years to come back to this place.”

  Back to me, she heard in his plea. He tortured himself with whatever was going through his mind. With all the bullshit in the past. She stood and walked over to him. “It did take ten years, but you could have come to see me as soon as you got back if you really wanted to.”

  He turned toward her. “Do you know why I enlisted?”

  “No.”

  “I wanted to be something you could be proud of. You had big hopes and dreams and I had nothing.” He shook his head, clenching his jaw. “I came back broken. It’s not exactly something to be proud of. It doesn’t feel like I did any good. Most days I simply tried not to get my head blown off.”

  Aubree watched as his tough outer shell cracked. “I’m extremely proud of you. My mom kept me updated with letters and phone calls. She told me about how you saved a kid one time. That’s not exactly nothing.”

  His anger still fumed, but it was losing its grip on him.

  Aubree leaned back on the bed, smiling at the memories. “She sent me pictures. She has a whole album of them. I joked that she was your stalker.”

  “Why didn’t you come?” He stared at her, pleading with his eyes.

  She didn’t like difficult questions. The reason never seemed good enough. When her mother told her about him coming home, she wanted to be there. She wanted to see his face and wrap her arms around him. She didn’t think he wanted her to though. Clearly, she’d been wrong. She’d thought he held a grudge about his car. She thought that all the petty bullshit in their past meant something more real so she stayed away. Now, she could see it didn’t matter. It never did. Not to him anyway.

  “Truthfully? I don’t know. Maybe I was scared. Maybe I didn’t know what to say. Maybe I was immature and self-centered. I worked hard to make something out of myself because I had so many people doubting that I could. Maybe I had something to prove and it cost me more than I realized.”

  He glanced toward the door. “I kept a picture of you with me.” He scoffed. “It’s embarrassing to admit that now. The guys always asked if you were my girlfriend. I thought about you all the time.”

  His last statement came out laced in pain. She half expected him to break down, but he didn’t. He avoided looking at her, but he didn’t break down. Aubree couldn’t have possibly felt worse if she tried. Why didn’t she go see him? He lived all over the US with the army. She could have gone to visit him at least one time in the eight years he served. She could have come home when he got back. She could have done something other than staying in Dallas and working her ass off.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t have a good excuse for it. I’m extremely proud of you and the man you’ve become.” She swiped her cheeks. “You’re not broken—far from it. You are still my best friend, even though I’ve been a shitty friend to you. You were always the one guy that knew how to love me the way I needed to be loved. You still do.”

  He finally looked over at her. She blew out a breath knowing he could see the tears streaming down her face. She never dreamed that she would be the one crying after his nightmares.

  “You know what’s so different about you?” He came toward her. “I can get so blistering mad that I can’t see straight, and then you apologize to me in that heartfelt way you do and all that anger and frustration just disappears.”

  He reached out to cup her cheek. “I wanted to hate you so much. I thought I had every right. I know the road goes both ways, but maybe I wanted to see you make an effort for me.” He shook his head. “Tonight, when you talked about your career, I realized that you did make an effort. You weren’t selfish for wanting a better life. If you’d stayed here, we probably would have gotten married. Probably had kid or two. You’d probably help your dad on the ranch and join the gossiping crew. Your job in Dallas fulfills you in a way that that life never would. You’re a smart woman. More so than I realized. I get it, but it still hurt.”

  “I’m here now,” she whispered.

  He dipped his head to kiss her. Hunger built inside her as his lips worked hers. She sighed into his mouth as his tongue delved between her lips. Aubree’s hands drifted along his sides as she opened to his kiss, sucking on his tongue as he pushed her back against the mattress. When he pulled his mouth away from hers, a smile lit up his face. She’d take that smile over sadness any day.

  “You’re wearing clothes.”

  “I don’t sleep naked.”

  “Why?” He propped himself up beside her. His hand slipped up her thigh as he nibbled on her earlobe.

  “I live in a penthouse. There are a lot of windows.” She tilted her head to the side so he could kiss her neck. “I sleep alone. Not much need for nudity.”

  He licked her pulse point and tugged her shirt up. “So you’re not against it in a small house, one windowed bedroom with a man next to you?”

  She sat up and pulled the shirt off. “No.”

  She turned and pushed him back, straddling his t
highs. His hands cupped her ass and squeezed lightly before he lifted his head enough to suck her nipple into his mouth. She sucked in a shaky breath. His erection pressed against her thigh and she reached between them to stroke him. Hard yet soft. Perfect, she determined.

  “How many orgasms do you think one person can have in twenty-four hours?” she asked.

  He leaned back to look into her eyes. “Do you really want a number?”

  She nodded, still stroking him.

  “I don’t know. Men, five. Women, ten.”

  “Now why are women twice as many as men?” She pushed him back with her hand so that he lay against the pillows.

  “It’s usually a two to one ratio.” He watched her hand. “You keep doing that and it’s going to mess up the ratio.”

  She grinned. “So it would be men six and woman ten?”

  “You’re catching me on little sleep and a long day at work. Six is probably pushing it for me tonight.”

  “Okay.” She moved down his body. “Sunday, then. You don’t technically work and I don’t have anything planned. We’ll start at midnight and count.”

  He shook his head. “What are we going to do in the meantime?”

  “This.”

  She leaned forward and dragged her tongue the length of his erection. The little sound of surprise he made gave her an overwhelming sense of pride. Joy. His thighs tensed as she engulfed the tip, sinking slowly down his shaft. He trembled and she loved the idea that she could create such a reaction in him with just her touch.

  The first time she ever performed oral sex on him was in high school, in the locker room when he was fresh out of the showers after football practice. At the time, she’d only heard things about it and when she actually gained enough courage to try it with him, she got off on how much he liked it.

  “I need you, baby.”

  “Mmm. You’ve got me.” She stroked him, licking her lips as she stared into his eyes. She lowered her mouth to his sac and flicked her tongue along the soft skin until he groaned. She squeezed his balls lightly, rolling them until his thighs tensed. He arched off the mattress and let out a harsh grunt as he took his pleasure. She continued to stroke and lick, loving the way his face contorted from pain to pleasure. His chest was sweaty as she smoothed her hand along his abs.